Every new year, I used to think of my life as a blank page, no history all potentials. So, whatever I draw or write on it becomes what I am. Too often I’m a hurried kid, eager to leave my mark on it. Instead of a clean sheet, I saw graffiti all over and soon enough I’ll just smudged it with frustrations.
The most challenging lesson I have ever encountered was detachment. I remembered holding on to the last cent of memory and I was all so scared to be uprooted from my own clinging. Yes, I was looking for the truth but when it comes to me (unexpectedly) I wasn’t so prepared at all. I can’t even articulate that exact moment of my journey. It all happened so quick and I’m not quiet sure I’d be understood…so, I’ll just leave it that way (wink).
Anyway, there’s a fine line between looking back and living with the past. I can look back now with peace in my heart. I’m so grateful that the best gift of self-knowledge and serenity has been granted to me. I never thought it could make such a great impact in my life. An experience of spiritual power is simply a joyful one. However, spiritual power is not basically just awareness; it is the ability to keep one’s ability to still make decisions with greater and greater awareness. The more we know, the more complicated decisions become. The downside though is that the person who has evolved to the highest level of awareness, of spiritual power, will likely have no one in his/her friends with whom to share such depth of understanding. It is where a gift can sometimes be a burden.
That’s where I got my blog’s name: A Grateful Heart with the URL: www.anemptycup.blogspot.com . My husband was asking me about it and for him it meant – NOTHING. Yes, that’s what it exactly meant. I am nothing and I always hunger for my cup to be filled. You’re right, you can’t really fill a cup that’s already full or half-full. In my life, I always empty my cup and when sometimes I am all so driven by my false pride, God reminds me to stay humble. Emptying one’s cup is such a painful experience specially when you’re struggling against your false conceit.
So, another year has gone and we’ll be welcoming the New 2009 in few hours. To some people it maybe just another year but to some it’s a clean sheet of paper. Cheers to all of us and for all our New Year’s Resolution!“Seek for greater understanding but don’t expect greater details” – Scott Peck