Christmas Gifts

It is the shortest day of the year, the first day of winter, winter solstice. All the trees are naked once again and my husband had just finished blowing all the autumn leaves away. It has been warmer (70’s) during the weekend, quiet opposite in the East Coast which was having a snow storm.

I was looking for some old pictures on my drawers last night and I came across this book of S. Peck. On the first page was my signature, the date and the place where I bought the book (I always do that). I had the book 9 years ago. I can still remember how that book changed my life in many respects. It was December and a first Christmas away from my family. The ironic part though was that turned out to be the best Christmas I ever had. I’m talking about the gift of recognizing God’s grace and the gift of understanding, inner freedom and inner peace. It was all very humbling! It wasn’t simple at that time though. It was both a death and a life. A death of my old self and a welcoming joy of my new self- a life that promises bigger things. It was an awe-inspiring experience of a blessing of a grateful heart. To say I was in seventh heaven is a celebrated understatement.

I appreciate all sorts of figurative lessons I’ve learned during the past years following that Christmas. I thought I’d share some of it with you:

1. My definition of success changes from “wanting to be significant” to “doing significant things”.

2. I learned how to treasure “the moment”, not to rush away and just enjoy the richness of the experience whether it’s painful or joyful. There’s always beauty hidden in all circumstance and those that contemplate on each beauty find treasures of power that will long withstand.

3. Attitude is everything. Ever since I started changing the way I look at myself, others and the things around me; everything had changed too. I was able to separate myself from others. And to realize that I’m not perfect made me more tolerant unto others.

4. I realized that no matter how heavy the burden is, it will pass. And I count it as a blessing too- just like a gold is tested on fire and so is our character.

5. That I’m always a work in progress. I need to keep working on me. I need to be always ready for adopting, adapting and reloading. Life is too short for complains.

6. That there’s nothing more powerful than to be committed to truly care. It cultivates emotional sanctuaries that create a better chance of touching both myself and others.

It’s been said that every road leads HOME at Christmas, a bridge under which the river of time flows. May you take time to remain on that bridge- recalling your Christmas past, relishing your Christmas present and hoping for more blissful Christmas future! I want to take this occasion to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and God bless us all!

Happy Advent!

I was holding my second cup of tea while staring at the fireplace and listening to the Christmas songs played on our iTV. It’s quiet a wintry night and I just finished decorating the Christmas tree.

“You know, I was sorting through these pictures back when I had a lot of money”, my husband interrupted from the kitchen. He’s been doing a gallery for his office and the bonus room has been a real mess.

“So, were you happier then than you are now?” asked me.

“I’m no happier than I am now. Money is not everything” he replied.

Then the conversation jumps up to telling him how happy I was then regardless of our family’s financial constraints. I’m talking about those good old days when my Dad will just grab a branch of tree down the hill. Oh, we were so excited to put Christmas balls on it while Mom was busy making lanterns made of crepe paper. The joys it brought to me were different then. The yearning, the joyful hoping and vibrant dreaming were more intense and profound.

“That’s what my Dad kept telling me that the journey is sweeter than the arrival” my husband remarked. How true that is!

I realized life is all about advent. From the moment I wake up in the morning, there’s that joyful hoping in my heart for a meaningful day, a yearning for God’s embrace and a prayer of gratitude and asking for guidance…that I may be His voice or I may be His face in every moment.

I have always looked at life as an adventure, a journey to the unknown. And yes, awareness is my best companion. There’s so much to discover if you’re always attentive. I see ample of hopes in a fog of quiet disappointments, greater excitements of things that I’m about to discern and that the world is filled with endless beauty and possibilities. I always see precious riches I have been given to live, to experience, and to share. And that what keeps me awake, vibrant, young and hopeful! Most of all, it’s a gratitude that while I am worthy there is something worthier and greater than me.

And oh, like you…I’m keeping Christ this Christmas too! Happy Advent!

Rain, Rain, I love Rain

Thank God for another day of rain! It’s been raining since yesterday. Everything just looked so clean and the trees, grass seemed so happy. We badly need rain here in California especially on the fire hazard places. Some places in the world might be sick and tired of rain and here I am praising God for the rain. Ironic, isn’t it? To Filipinos, rain right now is just unwelcome after being soaked in a flood and has been wet for weeks now.

Anyway, I’m just amazed at myself being so excited with the change of season. I mean, we don’t feel it much here in CA but definitely it’s something new for me who came from the tropical country where there’s only rainy and sunny season. Most of all, I love fall. It just hints some good family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Ah, how I love Christmas! I can’t believe I had the same excitement in my heart for as long as I can remember, whenever I think of Christmas holidays.

Love is the Answer

Love is the answer to every question.
Why are we here? Love.
Where do we come from? Love.
How do we create world peace? Love.

It may sound overly simplistic to the modern human being, since we want to analyze and look for complex answers to questions. We don’t believe that life is simple and the answers to its problems can also be simple: love.

In truth, what are anger, sadness, pain but the soul’s desire for love?

If we learn to love ourselves without reservation, and to love the world in the same way, the answer is simple. It is impossible, when filled with love, to be aggressive or hate-filled or violent.

When we know that we are beautiful and wonderful, we see the world through those eyes. We see the beauty and wonder in all things around us.

We don’t need to look outside ourselves for the love we seek. It has been there all along. It is the voice of our self-esteem. It is our anger saying, ‘hey this is not right for me. I don’t want this in my life any longer.’

Self-love is saying no to abuse and betrayal. It is wanting the very best for yourself and accepting only that in your life. It is healing the wounds that you have carried all your life.

Self-love is walking away from those who mistreat you, knowing that you deserve better. It is taking the risk to pursue the career that will bring you joy. It is listening to your own inner voice – the one that will always guide you to what is best. It is trusting in yourself completely.

Self-love is following that little voice within that says, ‘ooh I want to do that today.’ Sometimes it means ignoring the voice of 'shoulds' and 'have-tos.' It is believing that, when you seek what you desire and fill yourself with joy, you will also be spreading that joy to those around you.

Love will fill you up so you will know there is nothing missing in your life.

Love will lead you to every answer.

----An Essay by Christine Schaefer

Captured Vivid Memory

What is the first thing you can remember so vividly? They say that our earliest memories have an extraordinary force that seems to strengthen with each reminiscence. They suggest at who we have become and indicate the feelings and attitudes that really drive us.

The heat of the sun is biting my skin and the softness of the mud seemed to balance the comfort of bending all day. The dirt smells good with the fresh breeze as it touches my face. My head was spinning with different imaginations and leisure. Every now and then I looked up at the clouds and they seemed smiling and so proud of me.

My Mom, who is brave by heart, a gambler at fault, kept telling me that “there’s nothing impossible under the heat of the sun”. I took it seriously and well, literally. It instantaneously delights me as I continue planting rice on a bright, summer day.

“So, can I tell you a story?” I asked my sister who is planting on the other side of the field. I started telling her a movie just to kill the time and not being so conscious about the sizzling heat.

When there’s nothing to tell anymore, we were silent for a while. Thoughts started building up. I promised myself to get out of the mud someday. I promised to do better than my parents.

Then, I felt so much compassion for the farmers I saw nearby. Their faces wrinkled, their hands so dirty, clothes full of mud and yet never cared eating their lunch boxes under the shades of coconut trees. They are happy people so it seemed. They whistle a lot and some even sing out loud, throwing jokes at each other which echoed throughout the fields.

I can recall so vividly, how happy I was on that day for a job well-done. I was nine then. Ah, I always liked remembering that day. It reminded me of a renewed spirit, joyful hopes and innocent longings of pure gratification.

Celebrating Life

One of the greatest truths about life is- it is difficult.
What makes it difficult is the very process of facing the problem.
It is the most difficult of all because it means pain.
Problems depending upon its nature
Cause us in sadness, disappointments, regret, anger, despair or fear.
Too complicated feelings, always uncomfortable;
Most people are unwise to confront it.
Oftentimes, we procrastinate,
We hope that it will just go away,
We pretend it doesn’t exist,
We ignore and forget about it,
Some even take drugs in hopes of forgetting about it.
We seek to avoid the reality rather than confronting it,
Yet, the alternative solutions ultimately become more painful.

Day unto day has its own rewards and unusual challenges.
Everybody has its own distinct worries and responsibilities,
We are not being separate from one another,
Some have greater worries than the others.

I just love reading inspiring stories of people who survived from cancer,
Or people who accomplished a lot despite poverty,
Or people who are very happy after eating one good meal in days.

The moment we look at the world in the larger view,
We can see ourselves so small, how tiny our worries are,
We feel so grateful we are alive.
We have the whole world in front of us,
We are given the gift of time
That allows us the endless opportunities.

Savory Meals and Companionships

“What? Are you still sitting at the table?” my father shook his head with disbelief. We just laughed at him.

That’s usually the scenario after dinner time. It took us hours to get up, savoring on our Mom’s yummy cooking and meandering chats. We just talk about what our day has been, our friends and families.

We had this long, antique wooden table- probably built in the 1940’s and 2 long benches. Mom sits on the middle and while eating, everybody join into some sort of discussion. We are 8 kids in the family and so one sometimes had to shout to be heard.

My younger sister told us one time that her teacher called her too many names in school. Her teacher started calling her on my name up to the fourth sister's name before she got it right. We thought that was hilarious coz our Mom used to do that too.

Every time I come home from college, I saved tons of stories to tell on the dinner table. I really missed the fun and the atmosphere that I grew up with. I can’t wait to get home. That’s one thing that I was surprised to know at my cousin’s table. I never heard anybody talking. Everybody just seemed to concentrate on their foods. For years of staying with them, I always felt that eating is just another chore. The kids don’t have a good appetite and parents usually just swallowed their way through dinner. It’s sad to say that despite the delicious cooking my cousin prepared, I can’t linger over the delectable foods and like them, I just hurried my way to the kitchen.

Well, being married now- I could happily say that we do have the same table ritual. My husband is a cheerful, slow-eater too and sharing meals with him gives us the chance to know each other all the more where we can just sit relax and enjoy our meals together.

The Wonder of Coconut

It was funny when my friend’s husband (American) bought her a few cans of coconut milk. He thought Filipinos drink that coconut milk, hahaha! Actually, we do drink water that comes with the coconut called “coconut juice”. The old people said it’s good for the kidney.

The Philippines is the world's second largest producer of coconut products, after Indonesia. About 25 percent of cultivated land was planted in coconut trees, and it is estimated that between 25 percent and 33 percent of the population was at least partly dependent on coconuts for their livelihood. Most part of the coconut palm is useful from its body, fruits, leaves, roots and even to its shell. It has become popular in culinary, medicine, cosmetics, furniture, diesel fuel and charcoal just to name a few.

When I was a kid, every time our neighbor had coconut harvest, I’m always excited. I loved looking at all those coconuts rolling around the grounds. We just patiently wait for the farmers to come down then we can gather the young coconuts and they gave it to us free. Our neighbor used to have this big hole where they make a slow fire with the charcoals and on top of it (about 6 feet) is a floor made up of bamboo. All the coconut meat are laid and have it cooked slowly or they literally make an oven out of it. That’s the easiest to way to dry the coconut meat especially when it’s rainy season. After it’s dry enough then its brought to the trader to be weighed. It’s called “Copra” and is further processed become a coconut oil.

I still remember our neighbor would wake up very early in the morning to gather all the juices from the coconut trees. If it’s fresh out from the coconut then it’s called coconut wine or if it’s being preserved then it becomes vinegar after few weeks.

Those people that are employed out of the coconut industry tended to be less educated and older than the average person in the rural labor force and earned lower-than-average incomes. However, you can’t just underestimate that. I can’t hardly believe that this neighbor of ours had been able to put his kids through college with just the money he make from his little coconut farm. Some of the kids became a Doctor, Nurses and even a Lawyer. Wow! He was one of those persons I really looked up when I was a kid. Sometimes, some people are just not aware that they have been able to touch other people’s lives with just a simple, decent act.

Symptoms of Inner Peace

If you're having all these symptoms, then you are on the right track:)) Right now, I could honestly say... I have been experiencing these symptoms for years now. Thank God for the wisdom and the grace you bestowed to me- for helping me see and understand things. As the song "Amazing Grace" beautifully says...

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail, And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

So, here are the symptoms according to Peace Pilgrim:

- A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

- An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

- A loss of interest in judging other people.

- A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

- A loss of interest in conflict.

- A loss of the ability to worry.

- Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

- Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

- Frequent attacks of smiling.

- An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.
Symptoms of Inner Peace

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A Tender Keeper

As far as I can remember, I always start my day with my head bowed down, eyes closed and a simple whisper “Thank you God for everything”. After a while, it has become a second nature to me. Sometimes, I felt like I didn’t mean it anymore. That’s when I asked myself, what is it really that I’m thankful about? I’d searched within me and couldn’t even think of any reasons except I’m grateful for being alive. I realized living with a feeling of gratitude for nothing in particular and everything altogether will fill you with a sense of abundance, despite of your tangible possessions.

Yes, viewpoint is something we all discern and experience in our daily lives. There are events which bring different responses in all of us, which oftentimes; you just can’t despise any of these as incorrect.

My Auntie, who is on her mid60’s would wake up so early in the morning to fetch a pale of water in the neighbor’s well. She had to fill the few buckets at their house for her husband and 2 unmarried sons. She cooks breakfast and prepare their lunch boxes. After they’re all gone to work, she’d clean the house, do the laundry, take an afternoon nap, cooks dinner and the routine continues the next day. I can’t believe after all those years, my Auntie still manage to do things for her kids. I remembered her doing the same routine when I was only 5 years old.

I was caught off guard about the thoughts running through my mind. Absolutely, we have different perceptions in life. At that time, I can’t even justify if I’m happier than her. I am full of ambitions, I struggled to fulfill my education and I felt like I’d become slave to my own wishes. Looking at her, I can only see a picture of a Mom who is willing to give everything for her family. I had seen an honest smile and a cheerful person. I never heard of her complaining or nagging. Too shy to ask, I just told my Mom about my observations of which was relayed to her in my presence. I blushed. All she said to me was “I’m happy doing all these things”.

She must have laughed at my ignorance. All this happened long ago, on my college days- and now, in God’s time, I had understood those things she was trying to tell me.

Life Well Lived

When I came back to my hometown for a vacation, I was so impressed at the new Municipal building. The whole project was completed at the span of 6 years. You might think it’s a long time to finish a building but at least, its well- furnished and done as planned. You know, I was only 11 years old when they start building our Municipal gymnasium. Until now, the building is almost destroyed long before it’s completed. Ah, politicians!

(this is inside the gym)

Well, our previous Mayor (my Mom’s Boss) is such a very honest man. Is there still an honest politician that exists? Yes, of course. He used to be our school Supervisor (grade school). I remembered how my school teacher just hide through the bushes and off to the back gate (with a hole on it). She’s always late and our Supervisor is always outside his office after flag ceremony. He’s been a disciplinarian not only to his colleagues but to his family and to himself. He was already on his 70’s when he became the Mayor. He became intolerant sometimes and just shouts when he’s pissed. He is known to be a “trash picker”. You can hear him screaming at kids when they just throw their trash anywhere. Maybe he doesn’t know how to separate himself from others -he’s being so disciplined. He wakes up so early in the morning and visits his farm before he goes to his office by 7AM. He certainly doesn’t associate with other politicians and if there’s some funds that should have been a personal one- he just want it saved for the municipal funding in case of emergency.

One time, they were on a convention in Manila. He never stayed in a hotel when he travels. So, he doesn’t know anything about the key hole that serves as the switch. For the whole night, it was so dark for him and he never asked. One friend dropped by and asked why it’s so dark? He said- he’d no clue! Okay, you might think it’s funny but I guess, he belonged to the older generation. He’s very strict, very disciplined and stingy. They said, that’s how they were being taught during the Spanish era. His kids are all successful now but still he remained so humble and never settles for luxuries or comforts.

Oh well, does he deserve an award? Of course! He won National awards. He’s the Most Honest politician I have ever met. A picture of a man who had lived his life to the fullest- filled with full passion, service and integrity!

Letter Written by Fra Giovanni

I am your friend and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not got, but there is much, very much, that, while I cannot give it, you can take.

No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven!

No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant. Take peace!

The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach is joy. There is radiance and glory in the darkness could we but see - and to see we have only to look. I beseech you to look!

Life is so generous a giver, but we, judging its gifts by the covering, cast them away as ugly, or heavy or hard. Remove the covering and you will find beneath it a living splendor, woven of love, by wisdom, with power.

Welcome it, grasp it, touch the angel's hand that brings it to you. Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty, believe me, that angel's hand is there, the gift is there, and the wonder of an overshadowing presence. Our joys, too, be not content with them as joys. They, too, conceal diviner gifts.

Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty - beneath its covering - that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven.

Courage, then, to claim it, that is all. But courage you have, and the knowledge that we are all pilgrims together, wending through unknown country, home.

And so, at this time, I greet you. Not quite as the world sends greetings, but with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you now and forever, the day breaks, and the shadows flee away.

Letter Written by Fra Giovanni
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My Favorite Things

It was overcast, chilly and silent as the church choir sang the entrance hymn, Morning Has Broken. I have been looking at the side yard of the church and didn’t pay much attention as Fr. John marches to the altar. My mind was captured by the birds as they hopped from one branch to another. I have been so impressed with the church’s landscaping. It was like a mini-forest and the glass wall made it very visible from inside.

I caught myself teary-eyed as the choir continued singing,

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day.

Wow! That was surreal. I felt a pure joy at the instant. It was very liberating as I embraced the whole opportunity of enjoying the moment.

Practice makes perfect, they say. If you handle all situations in life with optimism, then the harvest is great. My personal approach to a healthy self is simple- don’t overanalyze everything.

Here are a few of my favorite things!

*Watching the birds picking on the flying fish on the sea.
*Seeing beautiful dolphins leap in the wild, vast ocean;
*Playing with the waves;
*Hearty talk with family and friends;
*Fresh, green mangoes with vinegar;
*Summer escapade at the lake while staying in a cheap hotel;
*Reading
*Dancing
*A bedspread of stillness and peace through the newly fallen snow;
*A midnight walk in the neighborhood with my husband and dog, Jake;
*A bike ride on the coast;
*Cuddling on the couch with my husband and our dog; Jake.

Happy weekend, everyone^-^

The Giver

"The thoughts that come often unsought, and as it were, drop into the mind, are commonly the most valuable of any we have. "

-John Locke

In high school, we have a retreat every year just before the school year will officially close. Our last year in high school was the longest one. We stayed in the building for 2 days and 3 nights. On the first night, we all gathered together in the mess hall for the dinner. We were grouped into five and so were five tables in the hall. After we prayed, we were so shocked to open the covered plates that we only have 3 pieces of small fish and a cup of rice! Oh no, why is that? Did they forget that we are 8 in the group? We really didn’t know what to do or how to handle it. We were so confused looking at the other table and found out that some have the same problem – a shortage of food while the 2 other tables had more than enough? What’s going on here? At first, we hesitated to ask for food. Some classmates share their blessings while some just said… well, it’s okay- that’s our food, why bother to share?

Some people I guess are just lucky to have been born in the US. Some are fortunate to have been born with silver spoon in their mouth. Some are unfortunate to have alcoholic parents. Some are unlucky to have been born in a Third-World country. Some are doing exceptionally good despite poverty while some are helplessly pulling themselves down even with their riches because they just fail to appreciate what they have been given. However, despite all these, we are still part of the equation. We can either choose to be the plus or the minus in our own family, in our community and to the whole world in general.

To me, the lesson for the whole dinner activity (retreat) is sharing- in the prefect sense of the word. I believe that what you have in excess is not yours at all. Life is not fair? Yes.

Kahlil Gibran of the “The Prophet” best described “GIVING” as:

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?
And what is fear of need but need itself?
Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, thirst that is unquenchable?
There are those who give little of the much which they have - and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Though the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.
It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.
You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
And what desert greater shall there be than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.
And you receivers - and you are all receivers - assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.

And Still In Love

It was a long holiday weekend for us. Our Sunday date was sweeter than ever. It was our second wedding anniversary. I always feel like we just got married. They said that things will turn sour after few months, but for us – our love is just getting sweeter and stronger everyday. Well, what could be better than to get a card that says “If my life is a pie, you are the biggest slice”? Sweet words always soften one’s heart. The necklace with palm pendant (engraved with diamonds) was sure a gorgeous gift too^-^.

Marriage, brings out a lot of surprises, they said – good or bad – between two people. I am surprised at how I genuinely enjoy being a wife, even if that means having to follow two steps behind sometimes. I was surprised to learn that I find contentment in doing things for my husband – just because. I have learned to be a better communicator just as much as he pointed that issue to my face. I really appreciate the way he respects my "Catholic" faith and how he takes time to doubt about it. I realized our imperfections could not outweigh our common grounds, at least there is^-^. Well, there's a lot really. He is the one that I've been hoping and praying for. Someone whom I know I can pour everything and I can surface effortlessly without being scared of rejections. And we became the best of friends. Yes, I take a lot of pride in who he is and what he does. It is something that I always knew I’d need from my man. I know I am strong by myself but I also need an anchor.

A Simple Guide to Myself

There are days when I wake up in the morning and things are not the way I wished it would be…
That’s when I have to tell myself that things will be better and the sun will still shine.

There are times when people hurt me and let me down…
That’s when I keep reminding myself to trust it all to my God and offer all of it to Him.

There are trials and challenges I have to face along the way,
That’s when I have to be strong despite my meekness for I will always choose to stand and not to veer away on the wayside.

There are changes that I make in my life,
That’s when I have to struggle a stronger sense of myself. I always tell myself to grow up and it’s always not easy.

Life is a game, an endless journey.
I have to play otherwise; I will just stumble in the dark.
I have choices and it’s all up to me.
Somehow, I keep telling myself to stick on the good choices.

So when days come with frustrations and disappointments,
I will not quit. I will survive.
It’s not only me, it’s not all about me and mostly, it is what "living" is all about.

Choosing to Live and Love

Life goes on whether we like it or not,
We cannot turn back the hands of time.
For my 30 years of existence,
I have come to know the different types of people.
I’ve met some men who are very passionate and gentle,
Men who are selfish and rude,
I’ve seen smiles full of untruthfulness,
And tears wet with truths.

I’ve met women who are intelligent, humble and caring,
I’ve met women who are envious, jealous and unhappy,
Women who are helplessly insecure and hateful,
I’ve witnessed the tears of a heart-broken woman,
I’ve seen faces of older people who just wanted to be touched,
I have known my parents to be who they are,
And respected their judgments because I choose them,
And I believed they did the best they can.

I’ve found myself learning the reality of living,
An inner part of me longed to always meet people
Who believe in life’s passion,
Of being grateful,
Of being so sincere,
Of being so forgiving,
Of being so selfless,
And above all, I long to know those few people
Who really know what love is,
And how to be a loving person
Where friendship and love are far more important.

Fruit of Labor and Love

My sister-in law is so proud to tell us that her bookstore had won a prestigious award. Mrs. Nelson's is the 2009 recipient of the Lucile Micheels Pannell Award for Children's Specialty Bookstore. They are so proud to be chosen from entries nation-wide for showing excellence in promoting children's books and literacy.

Each year the Women’s National Book Association awards the Lucile Micheels Pannell Award which honors excellence in children’s bookselling. There are two awards – one for general bookstores and one for a children’s specialty bookstore. The jury chooses winners based on creativity, responsiveness to community needs, passion, and understanding of children's books and young readers. Established in 1981, the Pannell Awards were created to publicly recognize the work of booksellers who are committed to promoting children’s books and encouraging young readers. The award is named for Lucile Micheels Pannell, a founding member of the Women’s National Book Association and a life-long advocate for children’s books and reading.

Yes, she’s very excited about it and so is the whole family! She's the top store in the US! She has been giving new books to us to send to the Philippines through the balikbayan boxes. Besides, I’m so grateful my husband is very passionate about sending boxes full of canned goods to my families, relatives and neighbors in the Philippines. I can’t thank them enough for being so charitable!

The Art of Simplicity

Simplify, simplify, focus, focus… that’s the lesson I have learned when I was in college. The Math problem can be tricky. The problems are sometimes stated in a confusing way but if you’ll learn the art of simplifying- then identifying the real problem and working on the solution will get easier and easier.

Dealing with real-life problems is just like that to me. I always go through the basic principles and simplify things. However, as I get older- things are presented to me in different ways. The solutions that once solved my problems were not working anymore.

And who was there to the rescue? It was my dear husband. I admire his clarity despite the mixed emotions involved. I’m so impressed at how good he’s able to detach himself on issues. He’s very good at simplifying things and identifying the real concern. You know, when you’re mad, you lose focus, you lose ground and you become unreasonable and yet, he remained so focused. Yes, he’s my diplomatic best friend and a great coach^-^. I think that’s one big reason why we only had a number of fights after 2 years of marriage (not that long but it’s the most critical years of marriage, right?)

Having a simple mind is not the same as being simple-minded. Simplicity of mind is revealed in clearness of thought. As André Conue-Sponville described it:

"The simple person lives the way he breathes, with no more effort or glory, with no more affectation and without shame., . . Simplicity is freedom, buoyancy, transparency. As simple as the air, as free as the air.... The simple person does not take himself too seriously or too tragically. He goes on his merry way, his heart light, his soul at peace, without a goal, without nostalgia, without impatience. The world is his kingdom, and suffices him. The present is his eternity, and delights him. He has nothing to prove, since he has no appearances to keep up, and nothing to seek, since eveiything is before him. What is more simple than simplicity? What lighter? It is the virtue of wise men and the wisdom of saints".

Flying Without Wings

“Tata, bring your younger siblings here! I’ve got tons of crackers for you all!” she shouted.

My friends were giggling. “Oh, there’s your step Mom calling you!” they all teased.

Hungry from the hard day’s playing around, I hurriedly picked up my younger brother in my small arms and run toward her modest house. True enough, she had a lot of crackers and breads in different shapes and colors.

That was the routine every afternoon. She would call all of us (my sisters) every time she gets off the jeepney with her daughter. Everybody knows that she came from the church begging. I could understand why all of my friends were mocking at us for eating those breads and crackers at their poor, tiny home. She’s filthy, ugly-looking, smelly and hunchback.

I never mind all of those things. I thought she’s being very nice and sincere.

“How did she become a hunchback?” I asked my Mom one time.

She just told me that she was being punished and cursed by her Dad. She wasted the money her parents sent to her for her school requirements. She was very spoiled then. Her Dad did a witch craft/ black magic on her.

My light brows raised high with total confusion. “How did she arrive here? Where is she from? Where is her family?” a series of questions come one after the other.

“She was out looking for your Grandpa. She came from the other side of the island- around 20 miles. When she arrived here, she looked so tired, so stinky and can barely stand up. It took her few days to finally see your Grandpa,” she narrated.

My grandpa was a quack doctor known to do some herbal healings as well as reversing the spell or black magic or witch craft or whatever that is. So, he did help her.

“Her condition was worse when she came here. Bit by bit, she was able to move and walked. She got married, had 2 kids and after few years, her husband left her” she continued.

“Wow! That sounded like a story I read on the books!” I quipped.

She was always a victim of discrimination, abuse and rejection. The society treated her scornfully. Nevertheless, my Mom was never one of them. I can always see her big respect for her as another human being. She was even considered a relative. During those times, I have questioned my Mom’s dedication for helping her in every way while other neighbors despised her because of her being unlovable and unlikable. As a matter of fact, my Mom took care of her funeral and my Aunt adopted her daughter.

Her family never visited her nor attended her funeral. It was a sad life swathe in physical and emotional pains but she never gave up living. Most of the time, I remembered her being happy and always ready with her big smile every time she invited us over at her humble home.