Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Goodbyes and Changes

How I wished the day won’t come. How I wished the world would stop revolving. The day I remembered from my long-distant past. The day I remembered when my young heart was first broken. I was so scared of that day to arrive and I was so frightened to see them leave.

I heard the noise of the tricycle from upstairs. It seemed so tired from carrying heavy loads of luggage. A bunch of neighbors were waiting and hurried their way alongside the street. The motor stopped and then I heard a bunch of giggles. They bid goodbyes to everybody, my cousins, aunts, uncles and friends. They went from one house to another in the neighborhood.

“Good for you guys! I wished you all well!” the common phrase I overheard. Then, it’s time for them to come into our house. I hurriedly run outside exiting in the kitchen just so nobody would notice me. I ran as much as I could down the hill. I was so glad nobody was there. I don’t want to see them leave.

“It’s alright, girl. I’m gonna send you a lot of letter once we’re settled there. I’ll send a lot of great stickers and stationeries” Abby told me. They found me putting more water in the bucket on the tiny water pump. I heard them screaming at the top of the hill but I just ignored them. I pretended I wasn’t hurt at all and that it was fine and I’m happy for them.

I’m the oldest in the family of 8 kids. I had shared very good memories with my cousins. We are not related by blood at all. My Aunt adopted them. Well, not legally adopted but she took care of them since they were kids. We lived from one house renting to another house in the city. We jumped into the bridge and cross the street every night just to go to our Uncle’s place on the other side of the city to watch our favorite shows on TV. We never had one. They’re the ones who taught me the fun and cool things only older sisters can do. We go walking to the mall every afternoon after selling “benignet” for snacks at our older cousin’s office. Ah, countless memories. I remembered being scolded by my Mom because we didn’t buy the right thing in the market for her recipe. We simply forgot what to buy coz their crush was outside the house. He walked through us to the market. I remembered how they get really upset at my Aunt because she won’t allow guys to come to the house nor serenade them at nights when we moved back to the island.

I thought I’m not going to see them ever again. I’m losing my best buddies, my 3 older sisters. They bid goodbye and told me they will keep in touch.

I got letters from them almost every month. I remembered being so proud in school and bragging to my classmates all the beautiful pictures of them in Switzerland. I remembered how warming it is to receive a letter, sweet-smelled stationeries, cool stickers- things that I always look forward to every month.

One letter every month became one letter every 3 months then became cards every occasion. Things had changed and so do people. I never heard of them except from my Aunt telling me “they’re extending their warm regards”.

After 10 years, they came home for a visit, a vacation. I was already in high school. I had few good friends. The ladies that I’ve known were not the same. They were wearing heavy paintings, colored hairs- red, blonde. They were wearing short skirts, lustrous stockings, well-polished shoes, expensive accessories, nice-smelling perfumes. Wow! They looked like actresses I only see on TV.

I was standing in front of them, feeling so small. I was expecting they will ask me. Maybe ask me how I did in school? Or ask me how’s life been treating me? Instead, I only get a “Hi”.

Well, change is a natural law in life. Some change for the better. Some simply change. I welcome change. I’m always in the beat and flow of ever-changing life. Yet, I never change my friends like I change clothes everyday. I collect friends. I get rid of toxic relationships every once in a while. I do some housekeeping, you know. I don’t want to spread myself too thin. I respect people who doesn't want me nor like me nor approve of me. I lost respect for people who thinks they're way better than anybody else and treat some other people like crap. Yes, the world will still revolve no matter where I am in this world. Sometimes, there's nothing we can do but bid goodbye and say hello to "change".

1 Grateful Heart's Words:

""rare*jonRez"" said...

very very nice story shawie! something i could really really relate. the same thing happened to me and they were my very dear cousins talaga so we were really close. but well, things and people change, and just like you, i welcome change as well. ahhh... i hate goodbyes and so longs. but what can we do? life is full of 'em, so the easiest way to accept them is to embrace them!