"Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain."- Helen Keller
It was such a sad interview I saw last night on Larry King. Dealing with infidelity in a relationship is everyone's worst nightmare. After trust has been broken, it can be hard for a relationship to move forward. In fact, many couples never recover from this muddle and separate for good. How much more to a high-profile couple where the whole country had known about it?
Okay, I’m talking about Larry’s interview of Elizabeth Edwards- her dealing with the cheating spouse John Edwards who admitted in August that he had an affair with Rielle Hunter, then 42. Hunter was hired to make a movie about Edwards, then making his second try for the Democratic presidential nomination. It is definitely a tough spot to be in- a cheating spouse (the affair had apparently been known to everybody in his staff except to her and he later denied the allegations) while at the same time, battling with incurable cancer. Although, she kept saying she had forgiven him and that she had bounced back- thus the title of her book, Resilience- she still sounded like she’s not healed at all. She said she’s a different person now which I took as a “broken woman” trying to be whole again.
You know, I’ve witnessed quiet a few of these “cheating” scenarios" before. Two of my close friends (whom I’ve known since high school & college), were separated from their cheating husbands. While it’s very easy to say, “it’s over” and be bitter about it; the options are quiet difficult though when you have kids.
The cheating husband is more prevalent in my culture than a cheating wife (yeah, double-standard). The society can’t seem to tolerate the fact that a wife is cheating. Worst scenario, you have to stay married all your life despite the infidelity and abandonment; unless you have thousands of dollars to file for an annulment since the church doesn’t allow divorce. I’m a big believer of “marriage should last a lifetime” and “no divorce under any circumstances” but seeing the suffering of my friends, I thought they deserved to be happy too.
“What would you do, if it were you?” a close friend had asked me few days ago.
Sure, she was fishing for some answers but when the question sank in, I was lost for words. Then, I remembered the prayers I’ve been reciting ever since I was a kid: “That God will give more strength to those broken-hearted”. Something that you don’t want anybody to undergo but it happens.
The part where I liked the most about Elizabeth Edwards responses is “things just happen”. She had forgiven herself and freed herself from the burden and guilt of “not doing the right thing” and dealing with it takes time, patience and dedication.