The Warrior

“When I become a warrior?”

“A warrior is not something you become, Dan. It is something that you either are, in this moment, or something that you are not. The Way itself creates a warrior.”

One of the joys of reading is that it provides a mirror for our own lives and our relationships. I just finished reading Dan Millman’s “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior”. I could have much appreciation of the book had I read it 10 years ago. But it was nice to look back and evaluate myself every now and then. It would be pathetic to know that I’ve been opinionated to a lot of things but myself.

One of my close friends had told me that I seemed so calm and serene despite the amount of burdens I’m facing. She couldn’t believe the things I have gone through and yet managed to laugh it all away. Having been thoroughly tested in every possible way, even when I temporarily failed, I always find myself picking up the pieces and starting all over again. I don’t believe in regrets and nothing happens by chance. I realized you’ll always be at peace with yourself as long as you know how to step back and always ready to think of new solutions without carrying the burden of the past. That’s how I maintain my balance. Over the years, I had build up a faith that is as solid as a rock that stands through life’s wind, be they calm or stormy.

Fragile

I’m so bummed about my Dentist appointment this afternoon. I was expecting it would be my last (monthly) Dentist trip. Ah, it’s just one thing after another. They found that the post (root canal) is fractured- leaving a small space on my tooth for the bacteria to build up. That explains why I get swollen gum occasionally. Then, they’re gonna do a tooth implant or a bridge. The hardest part is that it’s right next to the wisdom tooth. Bummer! Geeee, I couldn’t believe spending 15grand for my teeth. On the brighter side, I’m just grateful that I’m healthy all these times. Yes, I’m sound and whole but my teeth problems.

Well, it is what it is. I guess, I should just be counting my blessings^-^

Bored Rebel

The most baffling motivation I always hear with the neighbors when another neighbor got a new TV or any new appliances were these: “Rich people are crooks” or “Money is grubby and evil” or “I am poor but clean and good” or “I don’t want to have money and be stuck up”.

I just can’t understand why they say those things instead of being happy for them. Envy is very common in a close neighborhood, I guess. Or should I say, very prevalent in our culture especially in the political arena. As a kid, I kept thinking that if I get prosperous someday, I will be one of their topics. It’s either good or bad. You’ll be good if you feed them or give them drinks and in return, they’ll give you enormous sweet talks.

After years of working abroad and understanding another culture, I felt so free for the first time. I realized that a lot about my culture and beliefs had stayed so much and had prevented people to prosper. Even when opportunity knocks on the door, they still refuse to acknowledge it somehow. There has been a lot of these old, limited thinking. Perhaps these mentalities were developed during the Spanish-era where most of our ancestors became slaves. Yet, those days were 100 years old!

A cousin sent me this email telling how poverty is killing our country, etc.

"Sometime in November 2008, near ten o’clock in the evening I passed by a hill of garbage. I saw a father and two kids shoving over the piles of trash. They were able to get plastic containers and some metals. It was dark and soft rains were beginning to wet the grounds.

I greeted them, “Magandang gabi po.Kumusta po kayo.” (Good evening. How are you?)

“Magandang gabi po ma’m. Pasensya na po kayo.” (Good evening ma’am. We apologize.)
“Hindi po ako ma’am. Kapwa –tao rin po ninyo. Bakit po kayo nagpapapsenysa. Hindi naman kayo gumagawa ng masama” (I’m not a ma’am. I am your fellow. You do not need to apologize. You are not doing anything wrong.)"

It’s pretty common conviction in our culture that people don’t deserve to prosper. Or they’re not good enough to make money. Or they just let their environment control them by saying “My parents were poor and I will be poor”. I mean, it’s sad. It’s very depressing to know that most people are jammed and imprisoned by that belief. They are like eagles who forgot that they have wings and that they can fly as high as they wanted to.

To me, prosperity is the choice to do what you want to do. It is not about the amount of money but a state of mind. It is all about exploring God’s given talent and skills and enjoying it to the fullest. And with that note, you are giving it back since we cannot posses anything and it will pass on eventually. That’s the reality and natural flow of life- things come and go. And when something leaves, it’s only making space for something fresh and better^-^.

Weekender

I’m happy with my diet plan. I’m not starving or struggling with being hungry all the time. I wake up early in the morning to cook breakfast and lunch. It’s a good thing that my husband is sticking on his diet too. Although this time, I’m not weighing myself. I’m trying to build some muscles and so I just measure myself. It has been two weeks and the result is all the more motivating. No, I’m not talking about 10-20lbs. It’s just the stubborn 6lbs. that makes myself size 1 from size 0. I’m very stingy when it comes to shopping clothes. I just love wearing the same jeans until it’s worn out. So, I know when I need to shed off some weight coz my jeans are uncomfortable. Besides, summer is approaching. We are planning to have a vacation in Hawaii for our wedding anniversary and more bikini moments in the river or Lake Mead soon.

Anyway, we had a blast last Friday night at the bowling alley right after a hearty dinner at Blue Water Grill. As you know, anything that moves in the sea- ah, I love those, lol! I did eat more than I’m supposed to but that’s fine. And we had a wonderful time bowling. I never had a strike but had spare a lot of times. You know, I’ve never been to a bowling alley like that before. It’s a very interesting place, looked like a club where the balls and pins had those disco lights. It’s both lane and a lounge. It’s surprisingly pricey though. I can just recall those times when we go bowling in college as part of our PE. Everything is so manual from scoring to putting the pins back, haha! Gone are those era.

Last night, Lu taught me how to do the “mosaic clay”. It’s a pretty neat hobby. The hardest part is making the fimo clay soft. I’m hoping to make some frames to put in the bedroom and offices and perhaps some jewelry too. Ah, I can’t wait to get out of work and grab some more beads, clay, paint and rubber stamps at Michaels.

The Invasion

According to Anthony Burgess of New York Times Book Review, C.S. Lewis “Mere Christianity” book is the ideal persuader for the half-convinced, for the good man who would like to be a Christian but finds his intellect getting in the way.” I must agree.

CS Lewis is popular for his powerful and rational case for the Christian faith. He had always been quoted for most of the books that I have read. Unfortunately, I can’t find any of his books in our bookstore. A day after I arrived here, my husband brought me to one of the oldest missions in California. Ah, you just don’t know how happy I was to finally able to get hold to one of his books in the mission’s tiny bookstore.

Until now, I kept glancing into the books that had helped me and gave me some sort of deeper insights on a lot of things. Here's a simple glimpse of that:

“Very well then, atheism is too simple. And I will tell you another view that is also too simple. It is the view I call Christianity-and-water, the view which simply says there is a good God in Heaven and everything is all right—leaving out all the difficult and terrible doctrines about sin and hell and the devil, and the redemption. Both these are boys’ philosophies.

It is no good asking for a simple religion. After all real things are not simple. They look simple, but they are not. The table I am sitting at looks simple: but ask a scientist to tell you what it is really made of—all about the atoms and how the light waves rebound from them and hit my eye and what they do to the optic nerve and what it does to my brain—and, of course, you find that what we call seeing a table’ lands you in mysteries and complications which you can hardly get to the end of, A child saying a child’s prayer looks simple. And if you are content to stop there, well and good. But if you are not—and the modern world usually is not—if you want to go on and ask what is really happening—then you must be prepared for something difficult. If we ask for something more than simplicity, it is silly then to complain that the something more is not simple.

Very often, however, this silly procedure is adopted by people who are not silly, but who, consciously or unconsciously, want to destroy Christianity. Such people put up a version of Christianity suitable for a child of six and make that the object of their attack. When you try to explain the Christian doctrine as it is really held by an instructed adult, they then complain that you are making their heads turn round and that it is all too complicated and that if there really were a God they are sure He would have made ‘religion’ simple, because simplicity is so beautiful, etc. You must be on your guard against these people for they will change their ground every minute and only waste your time. Notice, too, their idea of God ‘making religion simple’; as if ‘religion’ were something God invented, and not His statement to us of certain quite unalterable facts about His own nature.

Reality, in fact, is usually something you could not have guessed. That is one of the reasons I believe Christianity. It is a religion you could not have guessed. If it offered us just the kind of universe we had always expected, I should feel we were making it up. But, in fact, it is not the sort of thing anyone would have made up. It has just that queer twist about it that real things have. So let us leave behind all these boys’ philosophies-these over-simple answers. The problem is not simple and the answer is not going to be simple either.”

--- CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

Funny Recollections

“There are people who will come around anytime to pick kids and sell them to the Muslims”, an Aunt had warned us. We were silent for a while but we started screaming and running around again after few minutes.

One time, my Mom came home with sad news. She said, it’s going to be the end of the world and the “666” or the Devil Cult will ruin the world. Somebody broke the news in their office and had presented some horrible evidences. I didn’t quiet comprehend the story but I was definitely bothered. I was so scared to die at that time. She said, we have to be prepared all the time and repent our sins.

One morning, my friend cried when we were going out on the streets, pointing and shouting at the plane on the skies. She was so nervous and restless, looking for a place to hide. Planes seldom appear in our skies. So we had to scream out loud, hoping that the plane would hear us. Most of us were happy but my friend. Her parents told her that if planes are around, there’s going to be a lot of bombing and the war will start.

When we were kids, we always hear the older people telling us not to go far away from our house. There are humans and fairies that will kidnap us. And so, when a neighbor happily announced that a huge truck full of Muslims was stranded on the mainland, I was jumping for joy. I thought we had won the war! He said there were tons of guns on the truck too. The Muslims are coming to visit and tour the island but when the coast guard saw the guns, they refused to let them board. I had thought we are living in a safe haven and nobody can conquer our island!

Looking back, I can just laugh at all those ignorant observations of our elders. I don’t blame them. My husband would call it verbal abuse though.

Torn

My husband called me this afternoon at the office, a little disappointed. His best friend invited us for a dinner. It’s their wedding anniversary. Jim insisted that maybe we can reschedule it coz Idol is on tonight.

“Dude, my day off is only Tuesdays and Wednesdays. You’ve been declining my invitations for months now because of Idol!” My husband relayed the message to me on the phone. I could hear his distress. I couldn’t help but laugh- to both of us. I was speechless too when he asked me if I want to go.

Okay, they’re very nice couple. We have been planning of inviting them for a dinner. We’ve always been invited for every party they have in their house but since I arrived here- I don’t remember inviting them over. Yes, I’m guilty of that. My husband and I are not that party people though. We neither drink nor love any of those “fine dining”. We’re pretty much casual and ordinary people. Anyway, we owe them big time now.

I have been suggesting him to get DVR for times like this. He thought it’s a waste of money. We even have HBO, TFC, etc. but never really had time to sit and watch movies except on weekends. I’m not a TV person either and so it doesn’t matter.

Okay, better get going. Still it's blazing hot today. We're still on the 90's... argghhh! I had a little sunburn yesterday from spending too much time outside. We went to get some empty balikbayan boxes from LBC with friends :)

Unsung Hero

Wow! It’s cooking in the office today, lol. We had a wonderful weekend driving on the Pacific Coast with the bike. It was just too hot to stay at home.

Anyway, my husband sent a video to me. I thought it’s extraordinary. And so I did a little research about Irena Sendler’s life. She was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize in 2007 but lost to Al Gore’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (slideshows). Sendler's story was brought to light in the United States when students of Kansas found it described in a magazine and popularized it through their play, Life in a Jar.

According to Wiki:

Irena Sendler was a Polish Catholic social worker. During World War II in German-occupied Warsaw, Poland, she was a member of the Polish Underground and the Żegota resistance organization.

In December 1942 the newly created Żegota (the Council to Aid Jews) nominated her (by her cover name Jolanta) to head its children's section. As an employee of the Social Welfare Department, she had a special permit to enter the Warsaw Ghetto to check for signs of typhus, something that the Nazis feared would spread beyond the Ghetto. During these visits, she wore a Star of David as a sign of solidarity with the Jewish people and so as not to call attention to herself.

She cooperated with the Children's Section of the Municipal Administration, linked with the RGO (Central Welfare Council), a Polish relief organization that was tolerated under German supervision. She organized the smuggling of Jewish children out of the Ghetto, carrying them out in boxes, suitcases and trolleys. Under the pretext of conducting inspections of sanitary conditions during a typhoid outbreak, Sendler visited the Ghetto and smuggled out babies and small children in ambulances and trams, sometimes disguising them as packages. She also used the old courthouse at the edge of the Warsaw Ghetto (still standing) as one of the main routes for smuggling out children.

The children were placed with Polish families, the Warsaw orphanage of the Sisters of the Family of Mary, or Roman Catholic convents such as the Little Sister Servants of the Blessed Virgin Mary Conceived Immaculate at Turkowice and Chotomów. Some children were smuggled to priests in parish rectories. She hid lists of their names in jars in order to keep track of their original and new identities. Żegota assured the children that, when the war was over, they would be returned to Jewish relatives.

In 1943 Sendler was arrested by the Gestapo, severely tortured, and sentenced to death. Żegota saved her by bribing German guards on the way to her execution. She was left in the woods, unconscious and with broken arms and legs. She was listed on public bulletin boards as among those executed. For the remainder of the war, she lived in hiding, but continued her work for the Jewish children. After the war, she dug up the jars containing the children's identities and attempted to find the children and return them to their parents. However, almost all of their parents had been killed at the Treblinka extermination camp or had gone missing otherwise.

After the war, she was at first persecuted by the communist Polish state authorities for her relations with the "capitalist bourgeois" Polish government in exile and with the "reactionary" Home Army. She was imprisoned, she miscarried her second child, and her children were denied the right to study at Polish universities.

In 1965 Sendler was recognized by Yad Vashem as one of the Righteous Among the Nations, which was confirmed in 1983 by the Israeli Supreme Court. She also was awarded the Commander's Cross by the Israeli Institute. It was only that year that the Polish communist government allowed her to travel abroad, to receive the award in Israel.

In 2003 Pope John Paul II sent Sendler a personal letter praising her wartime efforts. On 10 October 2003 Sendler received the Order of the White Eagle, Poland's highest civilian decoration, and the Jan Karski Award "For Courage and Heart," given by the American Center of Polish Culture in Washington, D.C..

On 14 March 2007 Sendler was honored by Poland's Senate. At age 97, she was unable to leave her nursing home to receive the honor, but she sent a statement through Elżbieta Ficowska, whom Sendler had saved as an infant. Polish President Lech Kaczyński stated that she "can justly be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize" (though nominations are supposed to be kept secret). On 11 April 2007, aged 97, she received the Order of the Smile as the oldest recipient of the award.

She died May 12, 2008 at Warsaw, Poland.

"Every child saved with my help is the justification of my existence on this Earth, and not a title to glory".
—Letter to Polish Parliament