A Listening Mind

I had been seeking the true meaning of happiness. Some people describe it as a pleasing moment of being one with nature's landscape- of a mountain overlooking the vast horizon, of calm lake, of a green forest with pleasing whistles of the birds. Some referred it as a long-awaited event: of lovers who had not seen each other for a long time, for winning a victory, for giving birth to a child, for achieving a goal.

At some point, the mind is relaxed from all the stress of thinking about the past and worrying about the future. There is a temporal stopping of inner confusions. The moment is occupied with the sensation of the present and freed from all the doubts and expectations. That's how I see it. I realized the moment I tried analyzing it... that very profound peace was gone and my mind goes back to work again.

Changing the way we see the world does not indicate optimism or some unnatural joys to offset negativity. So long as we are slaves to the discontentment and frustration that arise from the confusion that rules our minds, it will just be useless to say "I'm happy!" over and over again.

The search for happiness is not just about looking at life through rose-colored glasses or depriving oneself to look at the pain and imprefections of the world. Nor is happiness a feeling of intense to be indefinitely prolonged at all costs and time.

To the end, we must acquire a better understanding of how the mind works- for in its truest sense, suffering is closely associated to a misconception of the nature of reality.

Ego on Its Primal State

Ego is the conscious and permanent subject of all physical experiences, whether held to be directly known or the product of reflective thought.

We often pride in ourselves, in our jobs, in our possessions, in our success. Who would want to feel down? Taking pride means we immersed and keep ourselves clean. The pride that is dangerous, the kind we're oftentimes unaware of, is deep in the soul, deep in the whole being. We tend to find excuses for our bad behaviour. We thought there's no way we can be wrong. That there's nothing left to learn, we know almost everything. There's no room for listening other people's own convictions.

Our very own ego denies that we could be in any way guilty of what we are accused of. Rather than face the truth-which means we failed- we live life of pretense. We begin to think that others are always at fault and that we are perfect. Soon enough, we can find ourselves living in very false world.

Give Thanks with A Grateful Heart

Give Thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His son

And now let the weak say I am strong
Let the poor say, I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us, GIVE THANKS!

Finding Pearl

This is one of my favorite parable: " The Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it" (Mt. 13:45-46). It's very amazing to read parables and how Jesus speaks through idioms to awaken us to the expansive world of God's presence as unconditional love. I used to read that parable when I was a kid till in high school just as they are part of our school curriculum but never did I understand a part of it. In its truest sense, I cannot grasp the reality of what this parable is all about.

At a time in my life when I was so insecure, judgemental and so self-conscious, I came across this keen observation that humans- everywhere and whatever they do or possess wondering around what everybody else is thinking of them not knowing that everybody else is also wondering the same thing.

On my journey and my quest for answers I stumbled upon a little book of self-help. A bit of information leads to another book. It all happened so fast that I don't want to miss a thing on that roller-coaster ride. Eventually, pieces of answers surfaced but still puzzling. Like a blind since birth who cannot tell what colors of the sky are. But God has created us in His divine Mastery to share the heavenly joys of which he calls " the Kingdom of God".

The merchant in the parable is me. And the pearl I have found are the real glitters of joy, awareness, power, satisfaction, security- all wrapped in what I call "truth". It's a great relief finding that one true pearl, my ever precious gift! Anything less would have left me stumbling, thirsty to the touch of love and blindly grasping for more!

A Release of Silence

It's such an amazing gift to find silence amidst the noise and clutters of the world. And to gain that takes a lot more practice.

When I worked in Taiwan and having to share the room with 4 more persons- finding quiteness was so difficult. I have to climb up to the roof top or go to the near park to spend sometime for myself. I felt like it's just too much to interact with one another after all the stressful night at work. I can have a sense of balance just to be with me. During those times, I have been distracted with deeper issues of self-pity, insecurities, anger, hopelessness and all other negativity that tried to drag me down. I felt like if I don't stop, I will stumble along the wayside. Everytime I go out from my own sanctuary, everything seemed strange. How I wish I can just hide myself forever in that place. Eventually, I became addicted to that sensation of being alone. There's always an urge to go back. After a few months, I have learned to appreciate the little moments of silence with friends. Then, it became an ordinary thing to be with me and my God all the time.

Silence indeed is something that's deep within, it must grow and be nurtured. Without it, we cannot hear God nor can He speak to us. It's the totality of sacredness that binds us together. We all do need some dosage of silence once in a while. That's the only thing that keep us connected from within.