Christmas Gifts

It is the shortest day of the year, the first day of winter, winter solstice. All the trees are naked once again and my husband had just finished blowing all the autumn leaves away. It has been warmer (70’s) during the weekend, quiet opposite in the East Coast which was having a snow storm.

I was looking for some old pictures on my drawers last night and I came across this book of S. Peck. On the first page was my signature, the date and the place where I bought the book (I always do that). I had the book 9 years ago. I can still remember how that book changed my life in many respects. It was December and a first Christmas away from my family. The ironic part though was that turned out to be the best Christmas I ever had. I’m talking about the gift of recognizing God’s grace and the gift of understanding, inner freedom and inner peace. It was all very humbling! It wasn’t simple at that time though. It was both a death and a life. A death of my old self and a welcoming joy of my new self- a life that promises bigger things. It was an awe-inspiring experience of a blessing of a grateful heart. To say I was in seventh heaven is a celebrated understatement.

I appreciate all sorts of figurative lessons I’ve learned during the past years following that Christmas. I thought I’d share some of it with you:

1. My definition of success changes from “wanting to be significant” to “doing significant things”.

2. I learned how to treasure “the moment”, not to rush away and just enjoy the richness of the experience whether it’s painful or joyful. There’s always beauty hidden in all circumstance and those that contemplate on each beauty find treasures of power that will long withstand.

3. Attitude is everything. Ever since I started changing the way I look at myself, others and the things around me; everything had changed too. I was able to separate myself from others. And to realize that I’m not perfect made me more tolerant unto others.

4. I realized that no matter how heavy the burden is, it will pass. And I count it as a blessing too- just like a gold is tested on fire and so is our character.

5. That I’m always a work in progress. I need to keep working on me. I need to be always ready for adopting, adapting and reloading. Life is too short for complains.

6. That there’s nothing more powerful than to be committed to truly care. It cultivates emotional sanctuaries that create a better chance of touching both myself and others.

It’s been said that every road leads HOME at Christmas, a bridge under which the river of time flows. May you take time to remain on that bridge- recalling your Christmas past, relishing your Christmas present and hoping for more blissful Christmas future! I want to take this occasion to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and God bless us all!

Day Unto Day

DH picked up B late last night or should I say very early at the airport. He drove to LAX past 11 and came home around 3 in the morning. B just got back from his meeting with one of our major accounts in the East Coast. He’s been in the airport for 4 hours after they canceled his flight. Annoyed by the changing of flight schedules, he just decided to go for the next available flight regardless of time. So, there it is… they both went to bed so late and B still managed to go to work today! Superman that he is! No wonder he makes real good money. He just loved his job and we’re so proud of him. His work ethics is really impressive. DH is now half-retired you know. He shows up here in the office maybe twice a week for a couple of hours. He mostly works at home now. Good for him and I’m even more proud of him. I remembered the times when we were still on the “getting-to-know” stage when he kept telling me how late he went to bed and how early he had to wake up to catch up the East Coast customers. His company had gone so far and we’re ever more grateful for all the blessings!

Captured Vivid Memory

What is the first thing you can remember so vividly? They say that our earliest memories have an extraordinary force that seems to strengthen with each reminiscence. They suggest at who we have become and indicate the feelings and attitudes that really drive us.

The heat of the sun is biting my skin and the softness of the mud seemed to balance the comfort of bending all day. The dirt smells good with the fresh breeze as it touches my face. My head was spinning with different imaginations and leisure. Every now and then I looked up at the clouds and they seemed smiling and so proud of me.

My Mom, who is brave by heart, a gambler at fault, kept telling me that “there’s nothing impossible under the heat of the sun”. I took it seriously and well, literally. It instantaneously delights me as I continue planting rice on a bright, summer day.

“So, can I tell you a story?” I asked my sister who is planting on the other side of the field. I started telling her a movie just to kill the time and not being so conscious about the sizzling heat.

When there’s nothing to tell anymore, we were silent for a while. Thoughts started building up. I promised myself to get out of the mud someday. I promised to do better than my parents.

Then, I felt so much compassion for the farmers I saw nearby. Their faces wrinkled, their hands so dirty, clothes full of mud and yet never cared eating their lunch boxes under the shades of coconut trees. They are happy people so it seemed. They whistle a lot and some even sing out loud, throwing jokes at each other which echoed throughout the fields.

I can recall so vividly, how happy I was on that day for a job well-done. I was nine then. Ah, I always liked remembering that day. It reminded me of a renewed spirit, joyful hopes and innocent longings of pure gratification.

A Prayer

Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despair overcome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted me in the desolation of other times.

May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking over the silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quiet river, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early God to have courage amid the tempests of the changing years.

Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguarded moments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit. Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions be such as shall keep me friendly with myself.

Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of the stars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself. Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in my path.

Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep ever burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope.

And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not within sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful for life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; and may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.

---Max Ehrmann

A Grateful Thanks!

When we were young, we always have a garden in our own rice field. Both our parents are very interested in planting and growing some crops and rice. Most of our weekends are spent in the ricefield- playing, helping our parents and enjoying the fresh wind. Our property is not that big but my Dad makes it a point that there’s no vacant lot. We had a variety of veggies along side the rice farm. While we were never able to sustain ourselves with what we grew, the care and the amount of cultivation of our produce taught us to be patient.

I remembered the long day of Saturday was only spent for harvesting the rice. We are not technically-advanced then. We did everything manually except the threshing part. The long summer of watering and weeding taught us that delayed gratification is the sweetest fruit. Even the pests and bugs who sometimes stole the vegetables had a lesson to teach us on how to share. Learning how things grew- helped me understand and able to appreciate the wonder of our Mother Nature.

At young age, I was able to learn that there is no such thing as easy success. There is no such thing as money that grows in trees. As what my Mom kept reminding me that “there is no impossible under the heat of the sun”. I have learned to stand on my own feet and value money the more. Maybe my parents didn’t realize the very impact of the labor we did in the rice fields. It was a very humbling experience and I’m very proud of myself to have experienced that very basic notion of being a gardener. As a gardener, the harvest of a life enriched in abundance of patience, humility, kindness and compassion was worth every sweat.

A Tender Keeper

As far as I can remember, I always start my day with my head bowed down, eyes closed and a simple whisper “Thank you God for everything”. After a while, it has become a second nature to me. Sometimes, I felt like I didn’t mean it anymore. That’s when I asked myself, what is it really that I’m thankful about? I’d searched within me and couldn’t even think of any reasons except I’m grateful for being alive. I realized living with a feeling of gratitude for nothing in particular and everything altogether will fill you with a sense of abundance, despite of your tangible possessions.

Yes, viewpoint is something we all discern and experience in our daily lives. There are events which bring different responses in all of us, which oftentimes; you just can’t despise any of these as incorrect.

My Auntie, who is on her mid60’s would wake up so early in the morning to fetch a pale of water in the neighbor’s well. She had to fill the few buckets at their house for her husband and 2 unmarried sons. She cooks breakfast and prepare their lunch boxes. After they’re all gone to work, she’d clean the house, do the laundry, take an afternoon nap, cooks dinner and the routine continues the next day. I can’t believe after all those years, my Auntie still manage to do things for her kids. I remembered her doing the same routine when I was only 5 years old.

I was caught off guard about the thoughts running through my mind. Absolutely, we have different perceptions in life. At that time, I can’t even justify if I’m happier than her. I am full of ambitions, I struggled to fulfill my education and I felt like I’d become slave to my own wishes. Looking at her, I can only see a picture of a Mom who is willing to give everything for her family. I had seen an honest smile and a cheerful person. I never heard of her complaining or nagging. Too shy to ask, I just told my Mom about my observations of which was relayed to her in my presence. I blushed. All she said to me was “I’m happy doing all these things”.

She must have laughed at my ignorance. All this happened long ago, on my college days- and now, in God’s time, I had understood those things she was trying to tell me.

My Favorite Things

It was overcast, chilly and silent as the church choir sang the entrance hymn, Morning Has Broken. I have been looking at the side yard of the church and didn’t pay much attention as Fr. John marches to the altar. My mind was captured by the birds as they hopped from one branch to another. I have been so impressed with the church’s landscaping. It was like a mini-forest and the glass wall made it very visible from inside.

I caught myself teary-eyed as the choir continued singing,

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day.

Wow! That was surreal. I felt a pure joy at the instant. It was very liberating as I embraced the whole opportunity of enjoying the moment.

Practice makes perfect, they say. If you handle all situations in life with optimism, then the harvest is great. My personal approach to a healthy self is simple- don’t overanalyze everything.

Here are a few of my favorite things!

*Watching the birds picking on the flying fish on the sea.
*Seeing beautiful dolphins leap in the wild, vast ocean;
*Playing with the waves;
*Hearty talk with family and friends;
*Fresh, green mangoes with vinegar;
*Summer escapade at the lake while staying in a cheap hotel;
*Reading
*Dancing
*A bedspread of stillness and peace through the newly fallen snow;
*A midnight walk in the neighborhood with my husband and dog, Jake;
*A bike ride on the coast;
*Cuddling on the couch with my husband and our dog; Jake.

Happy weekend, everyone^-^

The Giver

"The thoughts that come often unsought, and as it were, drop into the mind, are commonly the most valuable of any we have. "

-John Locke

In high school, we have a retreat every year just before the school year will officially close. Our last year in high school was the longest one. We stayed in the building for 2 days and 3 nights. On the first night, we all gathered together in the mess hall for the dinner. We were grouped into five and so were five tables in the hall. After we prayed, we were so shocked to open the covered plates that we only have 3 pieces of small fish and a cup of rice! Oh no, why is that? Did they forget that we are 8 in the group? We really didn’t know what to do or how to handle it. We were so confused looking at the other table and found out that some have the same problem – a shortage of food while the 2 other tables had more than enough? What’s going on here? At first, we hesitated to ask for food. Some classmates share their blessings while some just said… well, it’s okay- that’s our food, why bother to share?

Some people I guess are just lucky to have been born in the US. Some are fortunate to have been born with silver spoon in their mouth. Some are unfortunate to have alcoholic parents. Some are unlucky to have been born in a Third-World country. Some are doing exceptionally good despite poverty while some are helplessly pulling themselves down even with their riches because they just fail to appreciate what they have been given. However, despite all these, we are still part of the equation. We can either choose to be the plus or the minus in our own family, in our community and to the whole world in general.

To me, the lesson for the whole dinner activity (retreat) is sharing- in the prefect sense of the word. I believe that what you have in excess is not yours at all. Life is not fair? Yes.

Kahlil Gibran of the “The Prophet” best described “GIVING” as:

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?
And what is fear of need but need itself?
Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, thirst that is unquenchable?
There are those who give little of the much which they have - and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Though the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.
It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.
You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
And what desert greater shall there be than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.
And you receivers - and you are all receivers - assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.

And Still In Love

It was a long holiday weekend for us. Our Sunday date was sweeter than ever. It was our second wedding anniversary. I always feel like we just got married. They said that things will turn sour after few months, but for us – our love is just getting sweeter and stronger everyday. Well, what could be better than to get a card that says “If my life is a pie, you are the biggest slice”? Sweet words always soften one’s heart. The necklace with palm pendant (engraved with diamonds) was sure a gorgeous gift too^-^.

Marriage, brings out a lot of surprises, they said – good or bad – between two people. I am surprised at how I genuinely enjoy being a wife, even if that means having to follow two steps behind sometimes. I was surprised to learn that I find contentment in doing things for my husband – just because. I have learned to be a better communicator just as much as he pointed that issue to my face. I really appreciate the way he respects my "Catholic" faith and how he takes time to doubt about it. I realized our imperfections could not outweigh our common grounds, at least there is^-^. Well, there's a lot really. He is the one that I've been hoping and praying for. Someone whom I know I can pour everything and I can surface effortlessly without being scared of rejections. And we became the best of friends. Yes, I take a lot of pride in who he is and what he does. It is something that I always knew I’d need from my man. I know I am strong by myself but I also need an anchor.

A Simple Guide to Myself

There are days when I wake up in the morning and things are not the way I wished it would be…
That’s when I have to tell myself that things will be better and the sun will still shine.

There are times when people hurt me and let me down…
That’s when I keep reminding myself to trust it all to my God and offer all of it to Him.

There are trials and challenges I have to face along the way,
That’s when I have to be strong despite my meekness for I will always choose to stand and not to veer away on the wayside.

There are changes that I make in my life,
That’s when I have to struggle a stronger sense of myself. I always tell myself to grow up and it’s always not easy.

Life is a game, an endless journey.
I have to play otherwise; I will just stumble in the dark.
I have choices and it’s all up to me.
Somehow, I keep telling myself to stick on the good choices.

So when days come with frustrations and disappointments,
I will not quit. I will survive.
It’s not only me, it’s not all about me and mostly, it is what "living" is all about.

Choosing to Live and Love

Life goes on whether we like it or not,
We cannot turn back the hands of time.
For my 30 years of existence,
I have come to know the different types of people.
I’ve met some men who are very passionate and gentle,
Men who are selfish and rude,
I’ve seen smiles full of untruthfulness,
And tears wet with truths.

I’ve met women who are intelligent, humble and caring,
I’ve met women who are envious, jealous and unhappy,
Women who are helplessly insecure and hateful,
I’ve witnessed the tears of a heart-broken woman,
I’ve seen faces of older people who just wanted to be touched,
I have known my parents to be who they are,
And respected their judgments because I choose them,
And I believed they did the best they can.

I’ve found myself learning the reality of living,
An inner part of me longed to always meet people
Who believe in life’s passion,
Of being grateful,
Of being so sincere,
Of being so forgiving,
Of being so selfless,
And above all, I long to know those few people
Who really know what love is,
And how to be a loving person
Where friendship and love are far more important.

Fruit of Labor and Love

My sister-in law is so proud to tell us that her bookstore had won a prestigious award. Mrs. Nelson's is the 2009 recipient of the Lucile Micheels Pannell Award for Children's Specialty Bookstore. They are so proud to be chosen from entries nation-wide for showing excellence in promoting children's books and literacy.

Each year the Women’s National Book Association awards the Lucile Micheels Pannell Award which honors excellence in children’s bookselling. There are two awards – one for general bookstores and one for a children’s specialty bookstore. The jury chooses winners based on creativity, responsiveness to community needs, passion, and understanding of children's books and young readers. Established in 1981, the Pannell Awards were created to publicly recognize the work of booksellers who are committed to promoting children’s books and encouraging young readers. The award is named for Lucile Micheels Pannell, a founding member of the Women’s National Book Association and a life-long advocate for children’s books and reading.

Yes, she’s very excited about it and so is the whole family! She's the top store in the US! She has been giving new books to us to send to the Philippines through the balikbayan boxes. Besides, I’m so grateful my husband is very passionate about sending boxes full of canned goods to my families, relatives and neighbors in the Philippines. I can’t thank them enough for being so charitable!

Flying Without Wings

“Tata, bring your younger siblings here! I’ve got tons of crackers for you all!” she shouted.

My friends were giggling. “Oh, there’s your step Mom calling you!” they all teased.

Hungry from the hard day’s playing around, I hurriedly picked up my younger brother in my small arms and run toward her modest house. True enough, she had a lot of crackers and breads in different shapes and colors.

That was the routine every afternoon. She would call all of us (my sisters) every time she gets off the jeepney with her daughter. Everybody knows that she came from the church begging. I could understand why all of my friends were mocking at us for eating those breads and crackers at their poor, tiny home. She’s filthy, ugly-looking, smelly and hunchback.

I never mind all of those things. I thought she’s being very nice and sincere.

“How did she become a hunchback?” I asked my Mom one time.

She just told me that she was being punished and cursed by her Dad. She wasted the money her parents sent to her for her school requirements. She was very spoiled then. Her Dad did a witch craft/ black magic on her.

My light brows raised high with total confusion. “How did she arrive here? Where is she from? Where is her family?” a series of questions come one after the other.

“She was out looking for your Grandpa. She came from the other side of the island- around 20 miles. When she arrived here, she looked so tired, so stinky and can barely stand up. It took her few days to finally see your Grandpa,” she narrated.

My grandpa was a quack doctor known to do some herbal healings as well as reversing the spell or black magic or witch craft or whatever that is. So, he did help her.

“Her condition was worse when she came here. Bit by bit, she was able to move and walked. She got married, had 2 kids and after few years, her husband left her” she continued.

“Wow! That sounded like a story I read on the books!” I quipped.

She was always a victim of discrimination, abuse and rejection. The society treated her scornfully. Nevertheless, my Mom was never one of them. I can always see her big respect for her as another human being. She was even considered a relative. During those times, I have questioned my Mom’s dedication for helping her in every way while other neighbors despised her because of her being unlovable and unlikable. As a matter of fact, my Mom took care of her funeral and my Aunt adopted her daughter.

Her family never visited her nor attended her funeral. It was a sad life swathe in physical and emotional pains but she never gave up living. Most of the time, I remembered her being happy and always ready with her big smile every time she invited us over at her humble home.

Ode To Mom

“Nay, have you told me before that if people who come and ask for help, you shouldn’t say-No?” my nephew asked my Mom.

My Mom’s face turned red in front of a neighbor.

“Didn’t I tell you not to associate with older people’s conversations?” she commanded.

My Mom is very domineering all throughout her motherhood stage until she had grand kids. She is known to be very straight forward, sarcastic, fearless and yet, generous. She’s very generous to a fault that sometimes her actions can be unreasonable.

She knew she doesn’t have money for her own needs but when somebody would come and ask for a favor- she won’t hesitate to help even if that means she will borrow money.

“I can still remember those times when I’d have to wait for the collectors. I can’t go home because I knew there’d be no rice for dinner. It always breaks my heart every time some employees would come and borrow money because they don’t have rice or medicines for their sick child”, she reminded me once again. “I know how it feels and even if I don’t have enough, I make sure- I still can help”, she continued.

Having been a Mom for 8 kids in her early 30’s and married to a somewhat immature husband was quiet a story to tell. No, I never blamed my parents for having so many kids and yet, they can’t afford to raise. I remembered being so sad when they have fights because of money. It was a chaotic childhood, imperfect and yet guided and loved. She is our biggest advocate and a true pillar for the family. My Mom never failed to stand up for her family whether it’s stormy and calm.

I appreciate her optimistic attitude and her being very pushy; although the latter was such an ordeal to me when I was younger. She was one of my biggest influences, one of my best friends, filling my mind and touching my soul. I don’t think I can ever do what my Mother had done.

As what St. Francis of Assisi had said, "Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms and may every breeze of affluence bears the scent of your love and caress!

Touched by An Angel

I was bummed yesterday when I dropped Jake at the Vet. Jim snaps at me when I was teasing him if he could just drop Jake before he goes to work. It was a bad-timing, my fault. He was grouchy when he woke up. It’s been 3 days that he never had enough sleep. I understand all his stress at work and all the hassles with the house renovations. I just give him a cold shoulder for the next few hours. He knew me and yes, I was hurt.

I wasn’t on the right mood when I picked Jake. Then, there is this charming, little girl who was trying to help the lady who worked at the reception. She’s the Vet’s youngest daughter.

“Can I help you? I’m available!” she told the lady.

“Okay, you can take the meds out of the box and put it in the table”, she replied.

Then, she realized I was there.

“Oh, hi! How are you? What’s your name?” she asked.

“I’m Sharon, what’s yours?” I replied.

“I’m Carolina.”

She was busy putting all the meds on the table. Then, she got the plastic bubble wrap from the box.

“Do you wanna take this at home?” she asked innocently with matching high-brows.

“Your kids can pop it, it’s real fun!” she exclaimed.

I was so stunned at her and when I asked her age; she said she’s 4.

Anyway, the drama between me and my husband ended after a thorough discussions and apologies before dinner. Thanks to the sweet, little angel who was sent to put smile on my lips which makes my day better. It was pretty simple and yet, touching.

The Warrior

“When I become a warrior?”

“A warrior is not something you become, Dan. It is something that you either are, in this moment, or something that you are not. The Way itself creates a warrior.”

One of the joys of reading is that it provides a mirror for our own lives and our relationships. I just finished reading Dan Millman’s “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior”. I could have much appreciation of the book had I read it 10 years ago. But it was nice to look back and evaluate myself every now and then. It would be pathetic to know that I’ve been opinionated to a lot of things but myself.

One of my close friends had told me that I seemed so calm and serene despite the amount of burdens I’m facing. She couldn’t believe the things I have gone through and yet managed to laugh it all away. Having been thoroughly tested in every possible way, even when I temporarily failed, I always find myself picking up the pieces and starting all over again. I don’t believe in regrets and nothing happens by chance. I realized you’ll always be at peace with yourself as long as you know how to step back and always ready to think of new solutions without carrying the burden of the past. That’s how I maintain my balance. Over the years, I had build up a faith that is as solid as a rock that stands through life’s wind, be they calm or stormy.

Unsung Hero

Wow! It’s cooking in the office today, lol. We had a wonderful weekend driving on the Pacific Coast with the bike. It was just too hot to stay at home.

Anyway, my husband sent a video to me. I thought it’s extraordinary. And so I did a little research about Irena Sendler’s life. She was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize in 2007 but lost to Al Gore’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (slideshows). Sendler's story was brought to light in the United States when students of Kansas found it described in a magazine and popularized it through their play, Life in a Jar.

According to Wiki:

Irena Sendler was a Polish Catholic social worker. During World War II in German-occupied Warsaw, Poland, she was a member of the Polish Underground and the Żegota resistance organization.

In December 1942 the newly created Żegota (the Council to Aid Jews) nominated her (by her cover name Jolanta) to head its children's section. As an employee of the Social Welfare Department, she had a special permit to enter the Warsaw Ghetto to check for signs of typhus, something that the Nazis feared would spread beyond the Ghetto. During these visits, she wore a Star of David as a sign of solidarity with the Jewish people and so as not to call attention to herself.

She cooperated with the Children's Section of the Municipal Administration, linked with the RGO (Central Welfare Council), a Polish relief organization that was tolerated under German supervision. She organized the smuggling of Jewish children out of the Ghetto, carrying them out in boxes, suitcases and trolleys. Under the pretext of conducting inspections of sanitary conditions during a typhoid outbreak, Sendler visited the Ghetto and smuggled out babies and small children in ambulances and trams, sometimes disguising them as packages. She also used the old courthouse at the edge of the Warsaw Ghetto (still standing) as one of the main routes for smuggling out children.

The children were placed with Polish families, the Warsaw orphanage of the Sisters of the Family of Mary, or Roman Catholic convents such as the Little Sister Servants of the Blessed Virgin Mary Conceived Immaculate at Turkowice and Chotomów. Some children were smuggled to priests in parish rectories. She hid lists of their names in jars in order to keep track of their original and new identities. Żegota assured the children that, when the war was over, they would be returned to Jewish relatives.

In 1943 Sendler was arrested by the Gestapo, severely tortured, and sentenced to death. Żegota saved her by bribing German guards on the way to her execution. She was left in the woods, unconscious and with broken arms and legs. She was listed on public bulletin boards as among those executed. For the remainder of the war, she lived in hiding, but continued her work for the Jewish children. After the war, she dug up the jars containing the children's identities and attempted to find the children and return them to their parents. However, almost all of their parents had been killed at the Treblinka extermination camp or had gone missing otherwise.

After the war, she was at first persecuted by the communist Polish state authorities for her relations with the "capitalist bourgeois" Polish government in exile and with the "reactionary" Home Army. She was imprisoned, she miscarried her second child, and her children were denied the right to study at Polish universities.

In 1965 Sendler was recognized by Yad Vashem as one of the Righteous Among the Nations, which was confirmed in 1983 by the Israeli Supreme Court. She also was awarded the Commander's Cross by the Israeli Institute. It was only that year that the Polish communist government allowed her to travel abroad, to receive the award in Israel.

In 2003 Pope John Paul II sent Sendler a personal letter praising her wartime efforts. On 10 October 2003 Sendler received the Order of the White Eagle, Poland's highest civilian decoration, and the Jan Karski Award "For Courage and Heart," given by the American Center of Polish Culture in Washington, D.C..

On 14 March 2007 Sendler was honored by Poland's Senate. At age 97, she was unable to leave her nursing home to receive the honor, but she sent a statement through Elżbieta Ficowska, whom Sendler had saved as an infant. Polish President Lech Kaczyński stated that she "can justly be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize" (though nominations are supposed to be kept secret). On 11 April 2007, aged 97, she received the Order of the Smile as the oldest recipient of the award.

She died May 12, 2008 at Warsaw, Poland.

"Every child saved with my help is the justification of my existence on this Earth, and not a title to glory".
—Letter to Polish Parliament

A Blissful Gratitude!

As far as I can remember, I wrote small notes to myself about everything. They were simply reminders, passages that glitters in every book that I read, some are observations and unripe thoughts or collection of cropped newspaper’s articles. This way, I could recollect and identify the feelings and mixed thoughts at the instant.

I carried the same attitude until college. And life seemed to work closely as I planned. I was expecting enormous hardships. I had trained my mind and heart to hang on. Perhaps that was the easiest part. I don’t have to complain and I just go with the flow. It worked pretty well and so naturally for me.

I had written a lot of famous quotes, unrefined emotions, movie snippets, and friend’s favorite lines all over my notebooks and even on my test papers, lol! One of my college instructors had noticed it one day. And with those simple notes, born a connection. It is as if he knew me all along. I just assumed he can relate. We probably had the same thing in common. I was too shy to ask. He’s been there, done that- I just guessed. He never goes out of the class without opening my notes and would ask – what that certain phrase means to me? It was strange at first but later on, I get it. He unselfishly shared some pieces of wisdom and continues to inspire me to never give up. One of the unforgettable phrase that had retained in my mind until now is this metaphor of him: “Math is like Basketball. At first, you thought it’s easy to play yet when you actually play it- you’d be surprised to find out how difficult it is. However, with persistence and practice, you’ll master it”. Later years in college, I had found that metaphor so simple yet so true.

I had collected numerous bits and pieces of wisdom over the years. It is like breathing to me. I had shared a lot of those in this blog and if you’re a regular visitor, you probably noticed it. Most of it came from my favorite authors whom I considered “Modern Prophets”.

Hence, the birth of this blog a year ago because of exactly the same attitude. Okay, I didn’t stop collecting. It is a mixed bag of my thoughts, reflections, insights and some of my personal stories. Half of it is passages from books that might convey joys, inspirations and comfort in one way or another.

Yay! It’s been a year of blogging and counting! I’m grateful for all your support all these time and for taking time to read or leave some comments. Although some of it I don’t really agree with but hey, it’s free! It’s all so true that we may see the same thing but looked at it in different ways. And truth is an endless path just like real diamonds- it glitters in various directions depending on how the light shines. Sometimes, all we have to do is set aside all our assumptions, put away the entire mind’s clatters and listen… then and only then, can we appreciate the true power of listening.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Awards Galore

I love reading blogs during my breaks. There's always a great lesson learning from other people's lives. I love reading different kinds of blogs from personal, techie, spiritual to humor. There are quiet a few of my favorite bloggers.

Anyway, I would like to thank my blogger friends for these awards. Thanks Duni from Lovely Purses for this award:)

Thanks to Sherrose of "Life Over The Edge" for this award. She wrote some moving review too that quote: Shawie, at A Grateful Heart –shares some very beautiful and uplifting messages about experiencing life with a grateful heart. Just reading her blog makes you feel more peaceful and uplifted!

More award from JT Locke of "The Frugal Housewife". Thank you so very much guys:)

I'm writing to remind myself and to keep a journal and if somehow you were touched by some of my posts then that's very wonderful! Thank you for the continued support:)

Marriage Creed

Tap! Tap! Tap! It was all we could hear on the computer as the bidders hurriedly gave away their money for a certain coin. The coins were sold so fast like wind as well as the thousands of money gone by hastily. One coin was sold around 220grand, some around 150-170grand and for average coins- it was sold around 3grand. My husband was all so excited telling me about this cool “auction” thing online.

The whole afternoon passed by and he’s still there in front of his computer in his office. Okay, fine. Whatever. To ease my boredom, I played the hip-hop aerobics and sweat away all my frustrations in my office. No, I didn’t tell him that I’m pissed at him.

I dressed for church and decided to go early. I didn’t invite him either. Yeah, whatever. I’m pissed off. I shouldn’t be going to church but I did anyway. I kissed him goodbye and off I went. It felt better driving alone and the road is quiet empty. Ah, the Super Bowl Sunday! It’s nice though. I had some moment for myself. I’ll be better soon, I just sighed.

I came home without saying “hi” to him not even to the dog. No, my hormone level is way too high, very stubborn.

“Momma, where are you?” he screamed while looking for me in the bedroom. I said “I’m downstairs, making coffee”.
He was all so excited telling me how the auction went. I gave him a cold face. Then, he figured out.
Okay, there’s the drama again. “Did I do something wrong?” “Is there something wrong?”
As always, my answer is “I’m fine”. No, you’re lying, he said. Okay, I’m pissed!
“Why?” “It’s because you were just in front of the computer all afternoon!” I said in a high-pitched tone.

Alright, I’m being unreasonable. I knew it was such a big deal for him. I knew I’m being selfish and he felt I’m so unkind considering how important that auction to him.

I can’t even tell him upfront that I want his attention. I felt bad because I’m bored. Faye even invited me for a movie night out but I said “no”. I’m in bad mood.

After a few minutes of sorting things out in a calm way, we made up. Off we went for dinner. We agreed to leave it behind. Then, my being childish confronted me once again. Darn, the dinner went so bad, there’s not even a good conversation.

The whole evening was ruined. We stayed away from each other. I’m still not over it and I just keep clinging to my stubbornness.

The scenario is neither new to us nor frequent. It’s rare but the same thing over and over again. I seemed so stuck with my stubborn behavior.

It’s past eleven and I said “goodnight!”
“When was the last time you did this to me?” he asked.
“I don’t remember”, I answered.

“Why are you doing this to yourself and why are you dragging me into this?” he asked in an angry voice. “I know you pretty well and you can’t hide anything from me, I’m intuitive. And you know exactly what you’re doing”, he continued. Duh!

“I need some attention, can't you tell? Okay, do I get in trouble tomorrow if I don’t say bye-bye before work?” He said, “You can do whatever you want to do”.

Fine. I apologized and we tried leaving the mess behind. I went to bed with still a heavy heart. Then, I received an email from him on my iPhone. He wrote some instructions for A at work and called me grumpy Momma. Grrrr!

I woke up so fresh in the morning and forgot about my bad hair day. He brought me an apple at work and I noticed he’s making some effort to make it up. Good! He probably figured out that’s how I get his attention. Do some protest?

Come on! Its high school, isn’t it? Anyway, as I said I want to post a love article or journal as much as I can for this month, hoping to learn from my mistakes in the years ahead.

Before I go, I’ll leave you with this very reflective message from Kahlil Gibran about marriage. Once in a while, I dig into his great reservoir of spiritual teaching whenever I’m lost, confused and to stay grounded and right on track.

"But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."