Helpless Beginner

All beginnings start with a Yes! But it's always impossible for me to say yes without asking "why?" in return. I don't remember the day I decided to become a Catholic but I do remember the days where I raised my voice and asked too many questions.

I thought being a Catholic is just about saying the rosary everyday and going to church every Sunday. I thought being pliant will lead me where God would want me to be. But how could you be pliant enough when an overwhelming pain could get in the way? How could you go on when you don't even know where it will lead you to? How could you continue on a journey where you don't even know you are making any progress? These being considered as traps on spiritual growth that made many creations turn away from God because they don't simply understand their own pains.

It happened that God in His wisdom does not cuddle the beginners. Rather, He uplifts and challenges the soul and force the beginner to grow in faith.